New Kaneland
Introduction New kaneland (commonly referred to as kaneland) is a country set up by the UN after the original nation of kaneland ceased to exist following the aftermath of several wars and a bit of radocracy. Kane was sworn in as President after winning 110% of the popular vote and set about developing this previoulsy uninhabited island in the southern Green Sea. Fundementalists want the region of Kanelandistan to become a separate independent country but since most of the uraniuma and oil resources are located there these efforts have been supressed by Kaneland intelligence and military forces. Kaneland has been severely damaged by Shaderian nuclear strikes and large areas or North and South Kaneland are irradiated. Key Information Population: 80 million (40% Urban/60% Rural) Currency: kaneish Dollar Cities: *Durka City (Destroyed) *Durka City refugee camp *Farpoint Research Station (A large research base) *Kanebeach *Kanebridge *Kanedon *Kanechester *Kaneford (Destroyed) *Kaneopolis (Capital) Ethnic Groups: 80%: Kaneish 13% Salopian 6% Stahlian 0.1% French 0.00001% Towel <1% Others Geography New Kaneland is primarily mountinous and consists of two large islands connected by thin land bridge. New Kaneland consists of 3 regions. Kaneshire to the north is a fertile agricultural plain fed by the mighty Kaneswater river and is mosstly rural. The majority of Kaneland's ethinc Saolopians live in this region and there have been accusations that they suffer discrimination and are mocked as smelly country people. The primary city of this region is Kaneford and is famous for having the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in the world as well as the highest rate of illiteracy. Most Kanefordians pass the time by cow tipping and mating repeatedly with each other. The middle portion of Kaneland known as The Promised Land is the industrial and cultural heartland of New Kaneland. It cosnists of a mountain range that runs parrallel to the coast and the West coast is the location of the Capital city of Kaneland Kaneopolis which contains the Palace of kane as well as many other important government buildings. The central city mixes modern and histroric architecture to create what many critics say is the most expensive carbuncle in Arsinos lots of black and gold alongside white marble statues of godesses surrounding the 1000 metre high statue of Kane that watches over the city. Beyond the perimetre wall are a sprawling mass of slums and heavy industry that is often hard to make out due to the thick layer of smog covering it. The Southern landmass is known as kanelandistan and is significantly drier than the rest of New Kaneland. The region faces considerable instability due to seperatist forces but order is maintained just enogh to allow teh continued exploitation of natural resources primarily uranium and oil. The only large settlement is Durka city which was a village whose population grew 1000000% following teh construction of Arsionoses largest refugee camp. Following the proclamation that hungry mouths should work for their food the Kaneland government encourgaed many sweatshops to set up in the area which has led to some international critics complaining that the conditions are equivalent to slave labour but the Kaneland government dismisses such claims as wacky socialsits unable to see the value of hard work. Government Kane is the beloved leader and as president for life has the ability to take a long term view of things and develop a deep relationship with the people from within his palace which gives him a good view over the country. The Kabinet. Advisors appointed by kane to deal with day to day issues. The Kabinet consists of: Culture Kaneland culture mostly reveolves around the Kane personality cult and a love of food. Kaneland citizens are expected to look after their own needs and government services and interference is kept to a minimum. Most Kanelanders are Foodies (members of the Foodism religion) and many take their faith serioulsy. There is a lot of propoganda in Kaneland and most Kanelanders know little of the outside world other than what they hear about on Kaneland News Corp There is an annual Kane day held every year where eveyrone celebrates their dear leaders benevolent leadership.Fun activities include Baking cakes, burning an effigy of King Solomon, singing Patriotic songs and raising money for charities such as Firewood for orphans. Kanish food is often spicy and rice forms the basis of most meals. Seafood is very popular. In the region of Kanelandistan in south kaneland the heavy security presence and restictions on the Tarvusit fundamentalists has led to a lot of unrest and disruption to peoples lives. Military Airforce The Kaneland airforce allows Kaneland to project power globally and consists of a range of versatile Fighters, helicopters as well as some stealth bombers. Kane can travel the world in style via his luxury airborne carrier Kaneforce 1. Army Most of the Kaneland Army is comprised of conscripts as part of national service as well as volunteers who join to escape crushing poverty. The army is in general poorly equipped with budget weaponry (soldiers can pay extra to get some body armour) and run by fear. Segways and battle buggies provide Kaneland with a fast response force. Navy Kaneland is developing it's naval capaicty which is especially important as Kaneland is an island. The Kanish Navy is a diverse mix of carriers, super carriers and battleships. Special Forces Kane retains direct command over the countries special forces which are often used to put down rebellions and to make the difference in a difficult fight. They have access to advanced weapons and vehicles. Kaneland has an opperative who is currently: The Gingerbeard Man (Paddy O'Brian) Intelligence services Information on KaneOps is classified and Kaneland denies their existance officially. Amnesty international said that KaneOps were responsible for the largest number of internal assassinations and dissapearences in Arsinos. Economy Exploitation of abundant natural resources by Kane with light regulation have ensured rapid (if poorly distributed) growth that has enriched Kane whos personal wealth is unknown as it is located priamrily offshore on the Holdiay Island. Economic activity in Kanelandistan is minimal as the instability has reuslted in little investment. In the North the fertile plains ensure that Kaneland is self sufficient for food and offshore in the south Kaneland has a bilateral agreement with Stahl Federation to share the oil wealth although some Kanelanders say that all the oil should go to Kaneland. Far Point Research Station carries out research into the latest technology although most research remains unpubished and the facilities isolation and defneces have discorages nosy people from looking too closley at its opporations which are directed by Kim Jong Il. Scrooges policy of Tax the poor and let the wealth creaters get on with growing the economy is a shining example of how to run an efficient state. Kane Industries a large conglomerate dominates the economy of Kaneland and is protected form competition by various laws. It has close ties to the Kaneland government and Kane is thought to be the comopanies sole shareholder. Cities Kaneopolis The capital city of New kaneland (shown to the right) consists of the Palace of Kane, a sports stadium hat doubles as an execution ground and homes of varying quality. The city is protected by a defensive wall. Kaneopolis is also the location of the New kaneland international Airport and the main commercial port. The Kanewater military base is located just offshore on an island that is primarily used as a militay training ground. Kaneford A rural town in the Northern landmass that is mainly full of smelly country people who spend their time comparing tractor sizes. It is the current home of the Wurzals. Kaneford was nuked by Shaderia The city is being rebuilt by Amun Seth immigrants and irradiated survivors but most of the population has moved to a refugee camp on the coast. Durka City This settlement arose from a refugee camp and has become permenent. Mostly consisting of shacks and sweatshops this city is the arse of kaneland. Nobody goes there unless they have to and the city is constantly fought over by the various warlords of Kanelandistan. Durka was nuked by Shaderia The city is being rebuilt by Amun Seth immigrants and irradiated survivors. List of notable Kanelanders *Kane *Kane Jr (KIA) *Nigella Lawson (holds joint UP-Kaneland citizenship) *kanegella (KIA) *Towlie (KIA) *Steven Hawking (KIA) *Ebenezer Scrooge *Mr Jelly Belly (Assassinated) *Draco Malfoy *Serenity Vine *KJ *Nigel farage *Jeremy Kyle *Captain Kaneland Category:Gay